I have some friends who sent us a Christmas letter modeled after You Might be a Redneck.Brilliant!!! And totally creative!! So I copied and came up with my own. Because making fun of ourselves is just the best. Here goes...
You might be a Harris if...
* Your Christmas tree has ornaments only half way up, they are all bundled in clusters, and your cats act like you just installed a new jungle gym for them.
* Your daughter comes home from joy school and says,"Mom I learned a new song today. It is just like Jingle bells Batman smells only different." You sing the real version and she says "Yeah! That's it!!!"
* You fill your kitchen trash can so full that you take off the lid and fill it "over the top". Then everyone waits around to see who will finally empty it. You even have a term for it- Simpson trash.
* You have an "interracial" marriage. When just momma Harris is out with her kids many point to the darkest one and ask if she is mexican. When papa Harris goes out with all the kids everyone stares at the lightest and wonders. When the family is all together, you often hear a story like "Oh my nephew's cousin's sister is white, married a boy who is half black half white half giraffe and their kids look like blah blah blah blah...
* You have been through so many rounds of the stomach flu that at this point in the game the gross factor of cleaning up barf almost doesn't even phase you anymore.
* Lysol wipes are a staple in your home. You are considering owning stock in it.
* You drop off and pick up so many kids you have to sit and do a head count in your mind daily to remember how many kids you should have at the current time.
* You have given up on the battle of what clothes your kids should wear in public. Who cares if he's wearing a polo shirt with running pants at least they are clean and he isn't naked.
* You delt with so many plumbing problems in your old house that when you hear water running and don't know the exact source you panic.
* Your boys had lots of hair when they were babies. Your girls had none. You take your boys out and everyone says "Oh she is so pretty!" You take your girls out wearing PINK and still hear "Oh he is so cute!"
* Your little commuter car has almost no paint, no radio, the door handles are almost falling off, the hood doesn't really shut all the way and the upper upolstry is caving in. But hey, it's paid for and it still runs right?
*Your husband is kind of addicted to caffiene free diet Mountain Dew. Seriously, what's the point?
Oh man I'm sure I could think of some more good ones!!
You might be a Harris if...
* Your Christmas tree has ornaments only half way up, they are all bundled in clusters, and your cats act like you just installed a new jungle gym for them.
* Your daughter comes home from joy school and says,"Mom I learned a new song today. It is just like Jingle bells Batman smells only different." You sing the real version and she says "Yeah! That's it!!!"
* You fill your kitchen trash can so full that you take off the lid and fill it "over the top". Then everyone waits around to see who will finally empty it. You even have a term for it- Simpson trash.
* You have an "interracial" marriage. When just momma Harris is out with her kids many point to the darkest one and ask if she is mexican. When papa Harris goes out with all the kids everyone stares at the lightest and wonders. When the family is all together, you often hear a story like "Oh my nephew's cousin's sister is white, married a boy who is half black half white half giraffe and their kids look like blah blah blah blah...
* You have been through so many rounds of the stomach flu that at this point in the game the gross factor of cleaning up barf almost doesn't even phase you anymore.
* Lysol wipes are a staple in your home. You are considering owning stock in it.
* You drop off and pick up so many kids you have to sit and do a head count in your mind daily to remember how many kids you should have at the current time.
* You have given up on the battle of what clothes your kids should wear in public. Who cares if he's wearing a polo shirt with running pants at least they are clean and he isn't naked.
* You delt with so many plumbing problems in your old house that when you hear water running and don't know the exact source you panic.
* Your boys had lots of hair when they were babies. Your girls had none. You take your boys out and everyone says "Oh she is so pretty!" You take your girls out wearing PINK and still hear "Oh he is so cute!"
* Your little commuter car has almost no paint, no radio, the door handles are almost falling off, the hood doesn't really shut all the way and the upper upolstry is caving in. But hey, it's paid for and it still runs right?
*Your husband is kind of addicted to caffiene free diet Mountain Dew. Seriously, what's the point?
Oh man I'm sure I could think of some more good ones!!
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